“There are almost always clues, because it’s a complicated thing—mentally, physically and emotionally—so it requires a lot of adjustments to pull off.”–Dr. Jenn Oikle
Take it from a sleuth who’s seen a gamut of cheaters. This is an insider’s guide in giving you a typical profile of a cheating spouse.
It will help you connect the dots, and decide if it’s time to hire a private investigator to give you the decisive proof you need.
Although any one or two of these factors could occur for any number of reasons, it’s the combination all factors that can indicate that your spouse is being unfaithful.
1. Gut Feeling
It starts with a gut feeling. There is a little voice inside of you that’s knows something is not right: relax and keep focused. You’ll need to keep your wits about you.
There are three pillars of infidelity: behaviour, appearance, and schedule. If you need a mnemonic device to remember, think Betrayal Always Sucks.
2. Change in Behaviour
Many spouses that feel guilty about their infidelity shower their partner with gifts and are overly affectionate.
Change in the frequency (more or less) and type of sexual activity can occur. Your spouse’s lover can introduce new methods of sex, which your spouse may try on you.
Your spouse may suddenly develop new interests, such as in music taste, food preference, hobbies or different styles of music.
Secrecy is another indicator of infidelity. Your spouse many change the passwords on their phone or computer, have hushed conversations on the phone, and change or hide their computer screen when you walk into the room.
Your spouse may expand their social circle by making new friends, such as at work or the gym. They may tell you about their lover, but say they are just friends or acquaintances.
3. Change in Appearance
Look for a sudden change or obsession with appearance that’s outside of what’s considered normal for your spouse, such as a new or difference style of clothing.
Your spouse’s attention may be on their hair, whether it’s a new style or a fixation on how their regular haircut looks.
They may wear a new aftershave or perfume.
Your couch potato spouse may suddenly decide they need to lose weight, and goes on a diet or joins the gym.
4. Change in Schedule
Cheaters need to be able to justify the time they spend away from you, so you don’t get suspicious when they spend time with their lover.
Obviously, regularly working late or going on business trips are classic indicators of infidelity.
They may also be spending more time with friends and family, at the gym or doing an activity, like swimming or golf. Your spouse may actually be doing the activity, just not all the time.
5. Signs of Deception
Statement analysis is considered the most accurate way of determining if someone is being deceitful; it will give you a general idea of how people sound when they are lying.
Pay attention to how your spouse answers your questions over time, and determine if they are being deceptive.
For example, people that present as being truthful are usually short, clear and confident with their answers, and actually answer your questions.
Hiring a Private Investigator
If your spouse displays most or all of these five indicators of infidelity, you may decide you want to get proof that they are cheating on you.
This is where hiring an experienced private investigator can benefit you.
It would also give you certainty that your gut feeling is correct, and allow you to make better decisions about the future of your relationship.K&K Private Investigators, Kusic and Kusic Ltd., Psychology